Online yOni mapping - isolation creativity generates a powerful new modality

Has someone ever given you a shoulder massage and your whole mood changed because they've relaxed muscles that you didn't even know were tense? It’s certainly happened to me! Most of us hold quite a lot of excess tension in our body. Often we don’t even realise this is happening until it gets so extreme that it causes pain or other imbalances. Which is why regular massages are a great self care strategy.

There’s one super important area of the body that your masseur will not go near. Actually this place very rarely gets physical touch outside of lovemaking. Our genitals! And our genitals also store tension. In fact even more than other areas, as they are such a key core area of our body and can be affected, often without us knowing it, by many aspects of life. 

Genital mapping 

In the past few years yOni massage or yOni mapping has become quite a popular therapy. Genital mapping for all genital areas including the anus, is one part of the skill set of a somatic sex educator. In my practice I offer two sessions that use this modality, Gentle Genital Tension Release and Pleasure Mapping. In both sessions I am supporting my client to explore and to connect really precisely with the range of different sensations present within their unique intimate terrain. The techniques we use are very similar, however the focus of our intent varies.

Enter the lockdown restrictions of our current worldwide pandemic!

And the wonder of the creativity that is fostered by restriction. 

Together with several of my colleagues I have been working on a genital mapping, or genital tension release offering that can be facilitated online. 

Remote yOni mapping is now a thing! And the results are proving to be highly effective!

Clients, are able to create a super safe space for themselves and to proceed at exactly the pace that feels right in that moment. I’m really excited because this is very potent work that can create a lot of change and offering it online makes it available to a many more people. 

What can you expect?

We meet together over Zoom and I will give you exact instructions about how to set up your space. There will be no nudity on camera. During the session I’ll just be seeing your face, or if you prefer you can turn off your video entirely and we will stay connected by voice. 

We may start by talking about anatomy and exploring some different types of touch. We will certainly discuss consent even though it will be your hands touching your body. It is such an important skill to connect in with yourself and feel exactly what feels appropriate for you in every situation. 

I will guide you through some practices to bring you fully present in your body and then we will start the mapping. Together we will create the map of the terrain in your body that you want to explore. I will guide you every step of the way but you will be in absolute control at all times.

The goal is to explore and experience exactly what is happening right now in your body. We use loving touch, breath and presence to discover the full range of sensations that are available to you. What do you feel in each particular spot? Is there tension, pleasure, pain, relaxation, numbness or delight? And how does it change when we give it loving attention and varying types of touch. 

What are the results?

The mapping process may sound deceptively simple but the effects are profound. After sessions clients have reported ‘heightened sensitivity’, feeling ‘really rejuvenated and energised’ and being ’in a very positive space’. I have witnessed someone release sadness from a past relationship that was blocking pleasure in their current one. And letting go of shame that had been buried for decades. As well as releasing physical tension and emotional holding the process also allows us to connect with and release cellular memory. The results include increased genital sensation and deeper connection with our natural sexual essence.

Mapping is a process that can’t be rushed. We need to allow plenty of time to explore each point we are drawn to. So I like to work with people for a minimum of three sessions. This gives allows us to work with anything that arises for you during and after the sessions. I often offer home practice suggestions that will enrich the journey. 

I am delighted to offer this work online, especially in these times of uncertainly and challenge. I feel it is incredibly valuable for us to be able to connect with the amazing power of our sexual energy and remove any obstacles present to relax into our true beauty, our naturalness.

If this work calls to you at all then you are invited to book a 20 minute, no-obligation chat in which we can explore the possibility further. Just send an email to consult@lauradoe.com and I’ll get right back to you. I look forward to hearing from you.

Photo by Rowan Chestnut on Unsplash

The Lost Squat

Over the past weeks I've been really enjoying refining the yOnilates program and preparing the teaching materials for the second cohort of teacher trainers. This sort of research and clarification is one of my favourite activities, and I’d like to share with you one of the gems that can really support pelvic wellness throughout life...
Squatting!
We just don’t do it enough any more.
For many folk, squatting is seen as undignified and uncomfortable. At best, we might undertake it during exercise class or yoga, but usually only a couple of times a week.
I’m going to suggest that you find a way to make squatting a part of daily life.

It’s not that unusual - in fact our bodies are absolutely designed to squat. Watch most toddlers and you’ll quickly see how they squat and stand up again with grace and ease. A huge proportion of the planet’s population squats daily, usually many times and for quite long periods. People squat to rest, to chat, to pray, to cook, to share a meal, to use the toilet and to give birth. It’s not that we can’t sit comfortably in a deep squat, it’s just that we’ve forgotten how.

Our failure to squat has important implications. It is a ‘use it or lose it’ situation. The synovial fluid that bathes all our joints is like the body’s oil that also provides nutrition to the cartilage. Movement and compression are essential for the production of synovial fluid, and, if a joint doesn’t go through its full range, the production reduces and eventually stops.

When we sit all the time rather than squatting, the hips and knees never go past 90 degrees and the degeneration starts.

For those of us interested in the wellbeing of our pelvic floor, the lost squat has further implications. When we squat, we also activate the many muscles connecting in to the pelvis. Strengthening your glutes and hamstrings will provide important support to the pelvic floor. The squat action also stretches and lengthens the pelvic floor itself. Many of the pelvic issues people experience are actually due to the pelvic floor being too tight, rather than too weak.

So squatting is really useful and it is a good idea to do more, but as movement expert, Katy Bowman, says, ‘If you haven’t squatted in the last million years (besides the two times you went camping and peed on your shoe), it’s going to take awhile to prepare your joints.’

Here are three starter exercises based on her excellent suggestions:

The calf stretch

Place the ball of one foot up on a rolled yoga mat or towel, or use a low block or a pilates half pipe. Keep your heel on the ground and feel the stretch in the back of your calf. To increase the stretch step forward with the opposite foot.

No-bow, bottom drop

From a hands and knees position (with lower legs and feet parallel & tracking straight back), drop the hips back as far as you can, without allowing the feet to move closer to each other, or allowing the tailbone to tuck under. Don’t sit back any farther if your tailbone tucks. Make sure you keep a lightly arched back. If your tailbone tucks, making your back bow backwards, come forward, re-lift your bum, and hang out in the position where you can still keep your back slightly arched.

Supported squat
Use the handles of an open door to lower yourself down into a squat whilst staying supported. Position yourself so your arms stretch out fully, and make sure your knees head down in line with your big toes.

Head over to Katy’s excellent blog for pictures of these exercises and additional tips. She will give you a better idea about your squat-ability, and get you on a safe and healthy path to full squatting.

If squats are already a doddle, then just make sure that your knees are heading out in line with your big toe, and resolve to find extra opportunities to incorporate squatting into your day.

Squat during ad breaks on the TV, when picking up stuff from the floor, or talking to small people. Squat occasionally rather than sitting to do a simple task, and, if you are up for it, you could even consider getting a little stool to put in front of your toilet to help you squat, rather than sit on ‘the throne'.

Happy squatting - and do let me know if you have any more ingenious ideas about when and where to incorporate more squatting into your life.

Reclaiming the Magic of the Vulva

Give me a topic and I’ll find a way to fit in a yoni! Actually it isn’t a hard ask to find the connection between Magic and the Vulva so when She de Montford asked me to write an article for her magazine Spellcraft I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised to discover that what I produced could pretty much serve as a ‘manifesto’ for my work with yOni.com. This article was first published in the summer edition of the ‘definitive guide to Magick in the Southern Hemisphere’....

I am a collector (and a purveyor) of Vulvic Art. My home is adorned with sumptuous silk and velvet vulva pillows, fluffy vulva purses, vulva pens, vulva jewellery and more. Some people are shocked when they see my collection, some are delighted but most ask “Why?”. I tell them that I believe the vulva is a wonderous and magical place, worthy of the utmost respect and the most beautiful artistic representations.

Anyone who has witnessed the natural entry of a child into this world would find it hard to deny the incredible qualities of the vulva. From a purely physical perspective her ability to stretch to accommodate the head of the newborn is nothing short of awe inspiring. Alas few of us have had the privilege to attend such a moving and fundamental event.

This was not always the case. Respect for the Vulva as the portal between the worlds was widespread in ancient times. And so was Vulvic Art.

Sheila na Gigs (or Sheelah-na-Gigs) are figurative carvings of naked women displaying an exaggerated vulva. They are found on churches, castles and other buildings, particularly in Ireland and Britain.

In the prestigious "Encyclopedia of Religion," (Eliade, Mircea. (Editor),1987) there are references to Sheila na Gigs

"The obvious life-giving and growth-promoting powers of the vulva and its secretions have given rise to a widespread use of representations of the female genitalia as apotropaic (intended to "ward off evil") devices. …. An apotropaic function seems to have prompted the placing of squatting female figures prominently exposing their open vulvas on the key of arches at church entrances in Ireland, Great Britain, and German Switzerland…. Most such figures were removed from churches in the nineteenth century.”

And a little farther down in the same article:

"A remarkable parallel to the Celtic Sheelagh-na-gig is found in the Palauan archipelago. The wooden figure of a nude woman, prominently exposing her vulva by sitting with legs wide apart and extended to either side of the body, is placed on the eastern gable of each village's chiefly meeting house. Such figures are called dilugai…These female figures protect the villagers' health and ward off all evil spirits as well. They are constructed by ritual specialists according to strict rules, which if broken would result in the specialist's as well as the chiefs death. It is not coincidental that each example of signs representing the female genitalia used as apotropaic devices are found on gates. The vulva is the primordial gate, the mysterious divide between nonlife and life" (Encyclopedia of Religion, article YONI, Vol.15, p.534).

I believe that much healing can be achieved through reclaiming the magic of the Vulva in our modern world. However, to do so we need first to inspect our current cultural attitudes to this most glorious and sacred part of the body.

Not only do we have no respectful representations of the Vulva, many of us are uncomfortable even talking about her. Last year the Weekend Australian ran an article about three US students who were suspended from high school for disobeying teachers and uttering the word “vagina” during a reading from the Eve Ensler’s ‘Vagina Monologues’.

In one research study, only 7% of respondents considered the vagina a body part that is freely mentionable (Allan & Burridge, 1991). Another survey found that 53% of women "felt some discomfort using the word vagina" (Bulletin, 1994, p. 10). And both women and gynecologists have been shown to rarely mention the word vagina (or even a synonym) during gynecological consultations (Weijts, Houtcoop, & Mullen, 1993).

And there are certainly plenty of synonyms to choose from! In my workshops I ask women to remember the name that they were given for their vulva as a child. I always hear something new. Rarely do I hear either vulva or vagina (which is technically the canal between the external genitalia, the vulva, and the womb). More distressing to me is that about one quarter of the woman were given no name at all to use. The area was just not mentioned. At all!

Why is this important? I believe that if women are uncomfortable with speaking about a part of their body which determines their femininity, which is a source of incredible creativity, pleasure and delight (the clitoris being the only body organ with the sole purpose of providing pleasure) and which is the gateway through which every one of us, in the normal run of things, enters this world, if we can’t name this part of us with ease and consider it with comfort then there is a dangerous void in our sense of ourselves as women.

And if we can’t talk about it then we cannot be given important information regarding our genital health. Woman of all ages can benefit from exercising the pelvic floor. In fact one source suggests that pelvic floor squeezes (or kegels) are the single most important exercise for a woman’s long term emotional and physical health. But most of us do not even hear about the possibility until we are pregnant (if then.) Kegels can be done anywhere, any time. Apart from being pleasurable for many woman (especially the more you practice!) kegeling increases blood flow and muscle tone, enhances sexual pleasure and reduces the likelihood of incontinence after childbirth.

I suggest that it is of the utmost importance to investigate and work towards healing any disempowering attitudes we have had foisted onto us about our most glorious and sacred feminine parts. By doing so women will feel better about themselves, boost their self-esteem, reduce depression and increase respect for the feminine in our society.

There are three simple steps we can take to start to reclaim the magic of the vulva:

Luscious yOni pendant available from yOni.com

1. We can use vulvic imagery as a powerful talisman. This need not be overt. The mandorla and even the V, or the cleft V are time honoured symbols for the vulva and can easily be incorporated into jewellery, art or even scribbles on a post-it note!

2. We can practice using her name. It may take time to become comfortable but it is unlikely to happen unless we start.

3. And thirdly, if we were lucky enough to be born in a woman’s body, we can kegel. Anywhere, any time! And while that enigmatic Mona Lisa smile creeps over our faces we can affirm the wonder and the power of feminine nature.


Visit www.yoni.com to see some of Laura-Doe's vulvic art collection and www.dothekegel.com for her squeeze along song to get you kegeling and for more information about pelvic floor exercise. Laura-Doe also runs workshops for women through the yOniversity® and provides comic info/entertainment on all things vulvic using her comic cabaret characters from Vaudeville of the Vulva. Please use the comments area to get in touch if you'd like to host a workshop or talk further about a performance.

The Rose Tent - Sacred women's space

I am excited to be offering some women’s workshops again.

The Rose Tent is a Saturday afternoon event for women only and the next one will be held on 21st June near Mullumbimby (near Byron Bay in northern NSW).

The focus of the Rose Tent is to connect with, nourish and celebrate the unique blessing of our feminine nature. We may do a range of things depending on the feeling of the moment and the group of women that gather. We focus more on being in the body than on talking although there will often be an opportunity to share if something needs to be spoken. We may use dance, sound, breath work and gentle touch. Often we will have a short meditation or guided visualisation, maybe some chanting and some paired and group work. You are never required to do something that does not feel right to you.

The four of us that are offering the tent have journeyed together in our own women’s circle for 8 years. We cherish the nourishment and support that we gain from our group and we would now like to share some of the fruits of our time together with a wider community of women.

Please view the Rose Tent flyer and feel free to share the details with other women who may be interested.

Home Birth in Australia

I felt very privileged to attend the 25th Home Birth Australia conference in Sydney last weekend where I provided a couple of 'interesting interludes' between the wonderful presentations.

It was a powerful and inspiring weekend but I was seriously disturbed to discover how persistently women's birth choices are being eroded by legislators and the medical profession.

The opening presentation was from British author and social anthropologist, Sheila Kitzinger. Described by the UK newspaper The Independent as ‘High priestess of the childbirth movement’, Sheila is a vigorous campaigner for rights of women in matters of birth and sex.

Sheila’s message about birth is clear:

Birth can be ecstatic. It can be thrilling, dramatic, and overwhelming. It need not be traumatic and despite what the medical profession would have us believe birth is not a medical event.

Sheila maintains that women should have access to the information that will enable them to make their own decisions, to prepare themselves for an experience in which they participate fully and in which they, not the doctors, are in control. And most women will agree that this is much easier to do on their own ground, in a place to which the doctors and midwives who are their caregivers come as guests, either in their own home, or in a birth centre in which the rhythms of a labouring woman's body are honoured and waited on, where birth is non-interventionist and centered on people rather than mechanical processes.

Sheila’s talk was just the beginning of a wonderful and varied program of presentations. We heard from a number of midwifes and mothers about their home birth experiences with images and video footage of several glorious arrivals. I’m not sure what it is about birth that evokes such a primal rush of emotion. But I was certainly not alone in finding myself in awed, but joyful tears at several points during the day.

We heard about the beautiful home births of a number of supposedly 'high risk' women: a 45 year old woman, a breach birth and a woman whose pregnancy had lasted only 35 weeks. We heard about 10lb 9oz babies and we even met a home birthed baby who weighed in on arrival at a magnificent 12lb 9oz. He suckled happily at mum’s breast as she gave her presentation.

We also heard from one awesome mother who birthed her first baby still born. In a wonderfully down to earth way she shared how important it was for her and her partner that they were able to do this at home as this enabled them to process and grieve their loss in a natural, uninterrupted and instinctual way.

Throughout the day the message was clear. Women feel better birthing at home with the continuous care of a midwife that they have chosen and whom they trust. Not only do they feel better, the research shows quite clearly that their births are less inclined to problems, the babies are healthier and happier and the subsequent relationship between the baby and its family is considerable enhanced.

Why then we have to ask are midwives being witch-hunted, suspended and deregistered and birthing centres being closed through lack of funding and medical backup?

Hmmm - let me think now. Could it be for the same reason that women have been forced to give birth lying down with legs raised on hospital tables in a position that makes no sense in her body and allows her no support from gravity? Could it be for the same reason that babies are induced before their due date, but just before a long weekend and caesareans are suggested when labour progresses beyond a few hours? Could it be that all these things are happening at the expense of the mothers and babies well-being but for the doctors convenience and to allow the medical profession to maintain control over this natural, miraculous and essentially feminine process of birth?

If you have the opportunity please see Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake's documentary "The Business of Being Born" which was premiered at the conference. Or make the opportunity by holding your own show. See the website for more details. Also check out the Homebirth Australia website for more information and resources on homebirth.

The truth shall set you free

Exploring the underbelly of womens’ relationships with one another.

In the past six months two women in my women’s group have decided that it is time for them to leave the group and move on in their lives. For both women there was some sadness and regret and a sense that the group was not serving them in the way that they would have liked.

For me the decision in each case felt appropriate and reflected the way I see the differing desires and directions of the group as a whole and the individual women who chose to leave. But those of us who remain decided that we would take up the opportunity to inspect a little deeper any ways in which we may have failed to support the women who left and/or contributed to their sense of alienation.

We decided to explore the ‘underbelly’ of our group dynamics and those parts of our individual behaviour that, even after seven years of exploration together, we prefer to keep hidden.

It is a challenging but fascinating and liberating journey as we confess to one another facets of ourselves that we had hoped went unseen. It has really been like peeling the layers of the proverbial onion.

In the first week that we approached the topic I felt confident that I had addressed all the areas that I was still hiding. But as the weeks progress I realize that I had merely opened the door. I had been in denial about my denial! I suppose it is not surprising – blind spots are called just that because we find them so difficult to see. But choosing to shine a light on these murky areas within the safe container of a group of women who love you is very powerful indeed.

And the process feels more and more potent as it dawns on me that we are exploring things that are of major importance to the wellbeing of the feminine and to the re-establishment of women’s culture. In a world were the qualities and gifts of 'the feminine' have been devalued and denied in so many ways for such a long time it is not just ‘the masculine’ that does the oppressing. Women have also learned to oppress other women in order to survive. I believe we all have an ‘inner misogynist’ that seeks to align us with the power of the dominant paradigm by putting ourselves and other women down. How could we not? Doing so is so ingrained in the society that we live in.

And it is not just the undesirable qualities that we are finding we choose to hide! We have also revealed gifts and attributes that we are proud of but that we choose to minimise and keep hidden. But whether I see a hidden aspect of myself as desirable or otherwise, the process of allowing it to surface and to be seen for what it is has been equally powerful. Reaching for the truth is immensely cleansing and liberating. I highly recommend it!

The Vulva Puppets' Australian debut

I must confess I was pretty nervous when I arrived at the venue for the 2007 Women & Depression conference. The starched white table in the hotel foyer did not strike me as a terribly welcoming place for my display of Vulva Puppets and other vagina related and empowering goodies. The conference participants seemed serious and rather conservative and my concern about their response to my presentation tripled instantly. I started to imagine being booed off the stage in a hostile hail of conference mints!

I guess those sort of feelings are par for the course when you plan to present on a taboo subject like the vagina. Indeed our difficulty with naming, discussing, respecting and honouring our glorious feminine genitalia and the effects that that difficulty may have on our sense of ourselves as women was the very essence of my presentation. I banished the desire to run and introduced myself to the conference organiser, the fabulous Anique Duc.

Once inside the conference room I felt more comfortable. The room was decorated with beautiful banners depicting a huge array of goddesses from many cultures. The wonderful work of artist Lydia Ruyle, these banners have been sent all over the world to 'weave the sacred energies of the divine feminine'. They certainly worked their magic on me and reminded me what I was doing there.

The presentations were varied and interesting and covered a variety of women and depression related topic areas. I learned about rural strategies for caring for women with post-natal depression, work with women in the prison system and rituals for rites of passage for women at menarche, birthing and menopause. I cried at the courage of Iranian women trying to stand up for themselves under severe repression and took part in the collaborative creation of a set of women's power cards.

By lunch time I had relaxed enough to set up my display table, the contents of which created a range of responses from horror to glee. It paved the way well for my presentation and I realised how important it was going to be to speak clearly about why I had brought these tools and how valuable & effective they can be in supporting women's health, education and therapy.

My moment came and my paper was enthusiastically received. Although my own experience of feeling challenged by speaking on the topic of vaginas is clearly backed up by research, I was interested to find that when I asked the question 'Who would feel some discomfort in speaking the word vagina?' the majority of the women in the room slowly raised their hand. Especially interesting considering it was a room full of women who work in women's health.

So despite my concerns my message was valued and understood and indeed generated some fascinating discussions that went on well into the evening. It also felt as though the wondrous vulva puppets had made their Australian debut to a highly appropriate audience and I was delighted to see several of them leave in the care of counsellors, educators and women's health workers who have promised to report back on how they are using them in their particular work arena.

Thank you and congratulations to Anique and her wonderful team for a beautiful and powerful conference and for the opportunity to meet and learn from such an interesting and diverse group of women.

Women and Depression Conference 2007

I am flying up to Sydney next week to give a presentation at the Women and Depression Conference (23-25 May at the Carlton Crest Hotel). I was expecting to offer a two hour workshop 'Returning to Reverence of the Sacred Source' in which women are invited to use art, voice dialogue, the wondrous vulva puppets and other processes to become aware of and to begin to heal any dis-empowering attitudes to our most glorious and sacred feminine parts.

However I recently discovered that all presenters are now allocated a 30 minute slot only! It's going to be fun condensing all that into a 30 minute presentation. Any suggestions?

Returning to Reverence of the Sacred Source - Workshop abstract

The prevalence of terms for women's genitalia that can be classified as derogatory or dismissive, or terms which are nonspecific and vague reflects and perpetuates a cultural context in which women's genitalia are either conceptually absent or perceived negatively (Braun & Wilkinson, 2001). Participants in Lee and Sasser-Coen's (1996) qualitative study spoke of menarche as an experience that "contaminated" their bodies, and their genitals in particular. Is it no wonder that the self-esteem of young women plummets in their early teens?

While we as women experience any difficulty thinking about, talking about, ‘owning’ or experiencing the miracle of our genitals and reproductive cycles, what effects must that have on our health and happiness and our overall attitudes to being a woman?

'Returning to Reverence of the Sacred Source' is a powerful experiential workshop in which women have the opportunity to explore and renew their relationship with their vulva and vagina. We use art, voice dialogue, vulva puppets and group process to become aware of and to begin to heal any dis-empowering attitudes to our most glorious and sacred feminine parts. (NB No nudity is involved in this process).

yOni gorgeous gift shop opens

After a few months beavering away behind the veil I am delighted to announce that the new yOni gorgeous gifts shop is now open for e-business. We have all your favourite, funny, fabulous and feminine goodies from the original shop. Delights such as the fluffy pussy purse, the wondrous vulva puppets, our cloth menstrual pads, the glass goddesses, the yoni jewellery etc. etc. as well as a host of new products for your delectation. And there are more waiting in the wings!

Come check out oodles of gorgeous gifts for her brought to you by yOni.com

When exactly was the 'dawn of civilisation'?

I am an avid reader of the New Internationalist and was particularly fascinated by the latest issue 'Inside Iran' which provides an independent view of what is happening for the people of this war-torn and often vilified country.

I was sad however to find that even in such an 'enlightened' publication as the NI the journalist who wrote the section 'Iran - a history' subscribes to the dominant but debatable view that 'the dawn of civilization' was in the 4th millenium BCE.

Eminent archeologist Marija Gimbutas and others have uncovered numerous sites that show evidence of much older sophisticated civilizations and clearly reveal an ancient widespread culture which flourished throughout Europe between 6500 and 3500 BCE. Gimbutas' work shows a society in which women had high status and power along with men. Egalitarian and peaceful, "Old Europe" existed for thousands of years without war.

Clearly at odds with the images of kings, warriors, and conquering gods that generally dominate our view of the past, this work cuts to the heart of basic questions about human nature. Is war inevitable? Did men always dominate women? It is not hard to see why this controversial information is hotly (but not terribly convincingly) disputed by the current patriarchal paradigm of scholarship. However the evidence of civilized societies much earlier then 4000 BCE is clear. I wrote to the NI and told them what I thought!

For more information see www.belili.org where you can also order copies of 'Signs out of Time' an inspiring documentary on Marija's life and work.

Victoria Vulva's video debut

Victoria is an unusually vocal velvet vulva. In her video debut she demonstrates how to do your kegel exercises correctly. You can see her on Google video.

Victoria would love some fan mail. Post a comment on google video or on the Do the Kegel forum and let us know and I'll send you a link to download the song for free.

Do the Kegel

I'm back on my pelvic floor muscle exercise bandwagon again!
(See earlier post coughing & kegeling)

Back in the hey day (!?) of the Voices of Gaia I wrote a song called Do the Kegel. It was a popular song but we never recorded it although we were often asked for it.

Recently I decided to indulge my inner diva and my Aquarian desire to change the world and go into the recording studio and make a solo recording of the Kegel. With the help of seasoned musicions and producers Bharti & Atmo we have come up with a catchy, invasive little number that gets into your brain and is difficult to get out. An excellent quality for a song that is designed to get you to do something!

I'm going to put a warning on the cover

WARNING : This song is a viral marketing device targeted at your well being. It is designed to get stuck in your brain and to seduce you into doing pelvic floor exercises!

It's sounding good and we are in the final stages of production and already planning a lounge mix, dance mix, DVD etc!!. I hope to have it available for download in a couple of weeks. The first two of verses are online at www.dothekegel.com and you can drop me an e-line to be the first to know when it is ready to download.

The first fifty people to email me will get a free copy as soon as it is ready!

Happy Kegeling

Satisfied song writer - Phoenix rises again

I used to sing with a group of women called the Voices of Gaia.

We were a varied group both musically and individually, but united in our love for the earth and inspired by our journey of discovery of our feminine nature. The group went through a variety of metamorphoses but while I was a member there were usually eight of us. We met twice a week to rehearse for a number of years and inevitably we were much more to one another than just a group of women that sang together.

The Voices of Gaia were my first women's group. It was with these women that I began to appreciate the immense nourishment and support that women can provide for one another. We laughed, cried, bitched, partied, worked, shared, hated and loved one another. Our career culminated in an epic journey half way across the globe to perform at the Woman and Earth conference in St. Petersburg in the middle of winter. Eight women, three children under five and one husband/father/onemanband. It was quite an adventure! More on that adventure.... But afterwards there didn't seem to be anywhere left for us to go and the energy of the group as a singing collective gradually dissipated.

Whilst I was with the group I wrote a number of the songs that we performed. One in particular is called Phoenix and in true Phoenix style this song has recently risen again!

Phoenix is about the jewels that can be found by facing up to challenge. It is quite a challenging song to sing. Our recording of it was pretty good (you can hear the song here) but it lacked the grunt that I felt the song deserved.

So I was delighted when vocalist Andrew Cox (whose band contains the same, now ex-husband/father etc. that backed us on our Russian tour) asked me recently whether they could perform it. Andrew Cox is an excellent vocalist with a great range and heaps of grunt.

'If anyone can sing Phoenix,' I thought to myself 'Andy can'.

And he sure can. I have just listened to the recording that the band have posted on their website and my whole body is grinning. I feel as though my child has come of age and found it's true calling. A song has found it's singer. It is a very delicious and satisfying feeling.

Thank heaven's I didn't have to hold on to doing it myself!

You can listen to the latest incarnation of Phoenix (now called 'Burn Me') at the Andrew Cox band's website. Turn up the volume and see what you think!

The Goddess Test

According to the The Mythological Goddess Test that I found on my surf for all things feminine, goddess-like and generally woman related,
I am
66% erudite, 87% sensual, 58% martial, and 33% saturnine.
(I thought percentages were supposed to add up to 100?)
and therefore have the attributes of the goddess Isis

"This Egyptian supreme Goddess is certainly the most influential deity on subsequent cultures. She was the ideal figure of womanhood, usually compared with the Greek Goddess Demeter or her Roman version, Ceres.

Isis was one element of a Holy Trinity, the remaining two figures being her brother and husband Osiris and their heroic son Horus. She was the Goddess of Magic for her brilliance, as well as the Goddess of Love because of her tenacious devotion.

She is often shown with wings, curving to caress coffins and sarcophagi of many a king. In certain papyri she is shown with her falcon wing headdress, covering her ears. One of her sacred symbols is the sistrum, a musical instrument that was believed to ward off evil spirits. Isis' sistrum was carved bearing the image of a cat and was representative of the Moon.

Isis was the High Priestess and an omnipotent magician as well as the only being ever to discover the secret name of Ra. She invariably carries the ankh, the symbol for eternal life. Her name is, by the rules of numerology, adding up to the number “2” and she just so happens to be depicted on the tarot card “Key 2 – The High Priestess”.

Mmmm?!
Rather flattering.
I might take that on!

The Minangkabau - a matrilineal culture

The Minangkabau ethnic group is indigenous to the highlands of West Sumatra, in Indonesia.

According to wikipedia their culture is matrilineal, with property and land passing down from mother to daughter. Religious and political affairs however are the province of men!

Now that makes real sense to me.

Think about it. If you were creating your own society and you had to choose whether to base inheritance on masculine or feminine progeny (and you wanted a system with the least likelihood of arguments and difficulty), would you choose to try and identify the offspring of men or of women?

No, no, no - this woman is my mother not that woman!
Oops I made a mistake - actually I gave birth to that child but never realised it!
I don't think so!

We have adopted an old joke in the area where I live.

How do you define confusion?

Fathers day
in Mullumbimby.

Women's culture

Have we forgotten something?

In our struggle for equality with men.

Have we missed a crucial part of the picture
... a whole flip side of the coin?

Western "civilization" is a man’s world.
Women have struggled and in many areas succeeded in developing their masculine skills in order to successfully, survive, compete and excel in this masculine oriented culture. All credit to us.

But does it make us happy? Do we offer our greatest gifts? Does it serve the bigger picture?

And where is the world, the way of living, that is designed to support the feminine, that is home, nurturing, supportive, safe, natural for women? That acknowledges our unique (and very different from the masculine) qualities.
What of our cycles? The stages of a woman's life, maiden, mother, crone. During our fertile years, what of the monthly ebb and flow of our womb’s life nurturing lining. How could we imagine that we can stay full and nourished in a world that ignores these vital changes in a women's body and feeling nature. Our conditioning has been so compelling that we manage to believe that we have to squeeze our flowing, rhythmic nature into a narrow uniformity of weeks and weekends.
No wonder there is such an abnormally high ratio of disease in our feminine organs. Did you know that 12 hysterectomies are performed every 10 minutes in the USA? That hysterectomy is the second most common major operation performed in the United States (and many other countries) today, second only to .. you guessed it ... cesarian section!

Where is our women’s culture?

Are we missing a huge and vital portion ?
Are we missing the fact that we have lost all sight, all knowledge and even the sense that there should exist a women’s world to complement this man’s world?

If we have, then where it was lost/forgotten historically?

Did it start in the slow, subtle transference of allegiance from mother goddess to the one (masculine) God? .... alluded to (among other places) in Anita Diamant's "The Red Tent" , described in Susan Weed's article - The Goddess is Alive

Was it confirmed in the burning of the witches - the complete eradication of huge bodies of knowledge about birth, herbs and healing?
Was it compounded in the break up of the extended family during the industrial revolution?
Many traditional cultures retain their women's culture. But we are much smarter, more civilized, more modern then they. Aren't we?

What did you learn from your mother , your grandmother, your aunties and cousin's, your female lineage?

What women's culture is not (although it could be)

Knitting circles
Coffee mornings
CWA
Alone keeping house
Mothering in isolation

What might it be, then?

I’m not advocating that we turn the clock back and deny all the successes of the (civilized) masculine world (!@$)

But women urgently need to find a way home, a way to nurture our essential selves to revitalize and regenerate, to relax, to feel known and understood, recognized and deeply honored, to regain our self worth, our sense of beauty and dignity no matter what age or shape our body’s form might be, to share and to hear and to learn from women’s story, her-story, myths and mysteries, to sing and to weave, to create and to give birth, to laugh and to dance, to grieve and to celebrate, to delight in our bodies sensual feeling nature, to recognize that here are a myriad of facets to the diamond of women’s culture and these jewels can only be gained in the company of other women.

What can we do?

Rome wasn’t built in a day

We can start by taking time out on a regular basis to connect deeply with other women.
I don’t mean a coffee and a chat about the kids or even a d&m with a girlfriend about our problems or our love life, although those are good things to do. I mean a space and time set aside (and with intention made sacred) for women to gather and nurture one another with touch, acknowledgment and loving reflection. A time for body oriented expression, dancing, massage, sensuality, rage and delight. A place where it is OK to be exactly who we are.

I have had the privilege of being part of such a group that has met weekly for the past four years. It is the well that I drink from that nourishes and revitalizes me and gives me the strength to carry on. I have felt sick when I arrived and left feeling well. It is the place that I can come happy or sad, ebullient or broken-hearted and I will be seen and loved and leave refreshed. It is place where every facet of my woman-self is welcome. It is my place, my women's culture.

I will write more about this and other things and if this blog could support women to start to reconnect with one another and themselves in this or any other way then I would be a very happy camper. That is my intention and my heartfelt wish. So may it be.