The Sexual Future of Women

I love your questions in The Sexual Future of Women, Tabby - and agree wholeheart­ed that they are very important.

I think one of the places to start is by addressing the predominan­tly squeamish attitude to female genitals.

In Eve Ensler's article in the Guardian for world AIDS day she writes “Vagina is the most terrifying word, the most threatenin­g word, in any language of any country I have ever been to. “ She goes on to say, “It is more reviled and feared than words like plutonium, genocide and starvation­”.

It's certainly not an easy word to pop into conversati­on! According to a research survey of nearly 10,000 women in 13 countries, more than half feel uncomforta­ble speaking about their vagina to their health care profession­al.

If we can't name her with ease it follows that we will be dissociate­d from her in some way.

“The prevalence of terms for women's genitalia that can be classified as derogatory or dismissive­, or terms which are nonspecifi­c and vague reflects and perpetuate­s a cultural context in which women's genitalia are either conceptual­ly absent or perceived negatively­.” (Braun & Wilkinson, 2001).

I think a great place to start is to teach young women how to accurately and comfortabl­y name the vulva, vagina, labia and clitoris and I think we do that by starting to practice doing it ourselves.

Viva la Vulvalatio­n!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

The Q's - sacred sexuality workshops on the Gold Coast

I booked in to do the Quodoshka series of workshops (affectionately known as the Q's) looking for some specific information for my favourite taboo-busting mission. I’d discovered that these particular teachings included some valuable information about different types of vulva and the way in which each type experiences pleasure. I wanted to know more.

But I had my researchers hat on when I made the booking so I was kind of surprised when I received the details of the range of outfits they suggest I bring with me to the workshop. It was at that point that I realized I was not just cruising along with my notebook and pen taking notes at some lectures but would actually be participating in a sexuality workshop. Duh! But even then I have to confess I was a bit blase. I have made it a point over the past 25 years to seek out sexual teachers and teachings so my thoughts were along the lines of ‘oh cool that’ll be fun’ and also, I must confess, ‘well there’s probably not much they can teach me!’.

How wrong was I?

Funnily enough the workshop was quite a bit like a lecture some of the time except that the students  were dressed in exotic lingerie or temple priestess outfits or even, at times, in kinky leather gear. But the information was excellent. So good I found myself scribbling notes on every little corner of a receipt I could find in my handbag. Luckily they gave us a manual with plenty of scribbling space before my receipts ran out.

I have been to a lot of workshops and led even more and I can be very critical about how a workshop space is held. However I don’t think I’ve ever come across an event where the space is held as thoroughly, as powerfully and as magically as in the Q's. Batty, Kristen and Mukee are a very impressive team. Impressive not only in their capacity to convey or to embody these powerful and complex teachings but also in their unwillingness to stand on any sort of pedestal. 

One of the things I loved particularly about Batty’s delivery was the humour. Humour is such a wonderful tool for breaking down barriers and making the unacceptable acceptable. Not that I think the content of anything we were taught is unacceptable but in the prevalent cultural moral climate there are many who do. Batty’s humour kept me thoroughly engaged.

The Q's as they are affectionately know are a series of three workshops offered by the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society. This society was founded in 1986 by Harley SwiftDeer Reagan. There seems to be some major controversy on the internet as to the authenticity of Mr Reagan’s claims and his work. The article on Harley and the Quodoshka’s in Wikipedia is seriously biased and badly need of review. It certainly portrays these teachings in in a very poor light. My feeling is that is because the teachings are about sex. And sex is one of the best topics for provoking intense reactions. Certainly whenever it is mentioned a lot of energy is stirred up in many people. Whatever may be the case in regards to Harley Reagan's biographical claims, I have to say the teachings of the Deer Tribe resonate with a profound sweetness and a huge amount of wisdom. Whether it’s Cherokee wisdom of the elders or channeled from the Pleiades – to be honest I don’t really care. It is powerful and valuable material.

The teachings suggest that we were being taught the information that young men and young women would be given within this tradition as they approach sexual maturity. We were given both the theory and the practical component of these teachings. But where the young apprentice would be experiencing the practical component with an older partner that they had chosen for this purpose, in the Q’s we practiced with partners that we had come with or that we made careful ceremonial agreements to practice with during the course of the workshop. This ceremonial space gave everyone the freedom to create whatever boundaries they needed to to feel comfortable.

The exercises were beautifully crafted and always demonstrated by the teaching team. I found that the process offered me insights and understanding into myself and sexuality in general that have been invaluable. Since doing the Q’s I find myself more confident and more fully in my power. I have lost a sense of needing approval from the outside and at the same time I can feel my magnetism and radiance is much more alive, so of course I am receiving very positive reflections.

The next Quodoshka series of workshops will be held near the Gold Coast starting on 24th March. If you'd like to do something wonderful for yourself call Peter Thomas on 0415 644 020 and let him tell you more about them. Tell him Laura-Doe sent you!

Homeopathy under attack

from http://www.davidicke.com/

Over the past few years homeopathy has been under attack by groups with a vested interest in discrediting it. More than likely the same groups as those promoting the CODEX legislation (see Codex alimentarius - Still hunting witches?), who caused the PAN Pharmaceuticals fiasco here in Aus and who have been making it harder and harder for herbalists to sell valuable natural medicines.

Homeopathy is a 200-year-old system of medicine used successfully by tens of millions worldwide.  It is part of the public health care systems of nations in Europe, South America and Asia.  It has a laudable two-century clinical record.  There are hundreds of high-quality basic science, pre-clinical and clinical studies showing it works. It is vastly safer than conventional medicine.

No form of health care can claim such accomplishments without being effective.

But there are very wealthy and powerful vested interests whose profits and power would be compromised if homeopathy were to become fully known and accepted for what it is by the public. They want to make sure that doesn’t happen, and they’re willing to spread lies to do it.

Learn more at Extraordinary Medicine

Debating vaccination

Even if I were not already personally convinced about the potential dangers of vaccination and the huge self-serving influence of the pharmaceutical companies on the medical profession and government - the extraordinary attacks trying to stifle the AVN,  a tiny pro-choice organization in Australia, would start to make me wonder what was going on.

In this article Dr Brian Martin, Professor of Social Sciences at the University of Wollongong and long-time advocate for the right to publicly debate all issues of importance examines the attack against the AVN.

Dr Martin did not approach this issue from the point of view of someone who was either pro or anti-vaccine. He does not have a strong opinion on whether people should or should not be vaccinated.

Instead, he became interested in this issue due to his experience in examining the suppression of dissent -  both as a social scientist and also through his involvement with Whistleblowers Australia and  non violent conflict.

Dr Martin writes:

In my decades of studying scientific controversies, never had I come across, in a country like Australia, a concerted effort to destroy a citizen-based organisation whose main activity was providing information - until learning about the attack on the AVN.

Long but well worth reading..  click to view the article

Towards a Vulvalation - What's wrong with my bits?

"Advertising sells us more than just products. More subtly but equally effectively it sells us values, concepts and ideas of what love, sexuality, success and, perhaps most importantly, 'normalcy' should look like." So says Jean Kilbourne in the introduction to Killing me Softly 4, the latest in her award-winning series of documentaries on gender representation in advertising.

"What does advertising tell us about women in the 21st century? It tells us who we are and who we should be. It tells us, as it always has, that what's most important is how we look." But, even if we wanted someone to tell us who we should be, the major catch is that the images we are supposed to aspire to are not real. Nobody looks like that!

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty's award winning Evolution commercial exposed the myth. Using time-lapse photography it shows us how a pretty, but ordinary girl is transformed into a strikingly beautiful billboard model using first makeup and then Photoshop.

These manufactured images are designed to impact on a modern woman's sense of herself and in many cases they succeed, but at least when it comes to bodies and faces we also see the full range of un-manufactured versions around us on a daily basis. We have real people to compare ourselves with as well. The same is often not thecase when it comes to our genitals.

 "It is not uncommon for women to worry about the shape or size of their labia." declares the website for a cosmetic surgeon in Melbourne. That's interesting but we can't blame advertising for that issue, can we? So what is the problem here?

Censored Labia

Apart from gynecologists and beauticians most heterosexual women have very limited experience of other women's vaginas. Until the advent of the Internet most of us would only have had images from adult magazines to make comparisons with. Unfortunately, although not perhaps with quite the same motivation, these images have been tarred with the same air-brush!

In the case of genitals it is the censorship board that calls the shots. For an adult magazine to be classified as 'unrestricted' and publicly displayed in a newsagent the genitals must be "discreet" and there can be no "genital emphasis". To avoid censorship, adult magazines alter the appearance of female genitals so that they are 'healed to a single crease'.  Very little, if any of the inner labia are shown and the result resembles the genitals of a pre-pubescent girl. (For more on this topic check out this episode of the ABC's Hungry Beast.)

Hardly surprising then that many women think that something is "wrong" with their "lady bits" and the popularity of genital cosmetic surgery has grown considerably in recent years. To compound the problem - this unrepresentative version is also what a lot of men are looking for. These same magazines were the source of their adolescent sexual fantasies.

So what is normal? A study that measured the genitals of 50 women between 18 and 50, found that the labia minora ranged from two to ten cm in length and from 0.7 to five cm in width. This variation occurred amongst only 50 women and is no doubt even wider across the general female population. In addition, the colour of the labia minora can be anywhere from deep pink, brownish pink to reddish pink and asymmetry is the norm.

Traditional cultures acknowledge the variety of vulva...

Traditional wisdom from a range of cultures shows a much more wholesome and accurate attitude to the vulva than we have today. The Native American teachings of the Sweet Medicine Sundance Path name nine different types of vulva on the medicine wheel and discuss not only the differing qualities of each one but the varying ways in which each one receives pleasure.

From Japan we have inherited descriptions of five types of female genitals, each one associated with one of the five elements, earth, water, fire. air and ether. The sexological texts of India speak of three temperaments, three kinds and four orders of women which combines to classify women into 36 psycho-physical types each of which has specific characteristics of her yoni. And Arabic culture offers the most detailed and extensive set of terms and descriptions affording insights into their physical characteristics as well as the psyche and sexual drive of their owner.

... and her power

Respect for the potency of the vulva as the portal between the worlds was widespread in ancient times.

Sheelah-na-Gigs are figurative carvings of naked women displaying exaggerated genitals with the lips held apart. They were found on churches, castles and other buildings, particularly in Ireland and Britain and other parts of Europe. Similar female figures have been found throughout Anatolia, Europe, Southern Asia, and East Asia in a broad chronological sweep beginning around 9000 BCE and existing for millennia. These widespread figures are clearly displaying the power of the vulva - the fertile, healing and regenerative power. In many cases their placement also indicates a protective power, the power to ward of evil and protect a structure from an enemy.

Wouldn't it be great to share this ancient wisdom with a woman contemplating surgery in order to "heal her vulva to the crease" and conform to a censor's idea of what is "acceptable"?

Why is this so important?

If women feel that there is something wrong with the part of our body which determines our femininity, which is a source of incredible creativity and delight and which is the gateway through which every one of us, in the normal run of things, enters this world, then there is a dangerous void in our sense of ourselves as women.

I would like to propose a Vulvalation - a movement of men and women fostering the rediscovery of the power and the beauty of the vulva, respecting the wonderful variety and understanding the way in which the differences affect each women's capacity for pleasure and satisfaction. I would like to see the introduction of education in schools that makes these differences clear for both girls and boys and the general availability of respectful and accurate literature and imagery that affirms the naturalness and the potency of female sexuality.

I would like that we reconnect with the ancient wisdom in which women (and the bits that make them women) were respected and valued as the source of life. I would like to help create a modern social environment in which women can fully accept themselves, are truly acknowledged and empowered, and in which the very source of our femininity is honoured, respected, loved and understood.

If you would like to show your support for such such a grass roots movement then you can join the Vulvalation on facebook. Viva la Vulvalation!

References
The Yoni: Sacred Symbol of Female Creative Power by Rufus Campenhausen

Sacred Display: Divine and Magical Female Figures of Eurasia By Miriam Robbins Dexter and Victor H. Mair

Vaudeville of the Vulva

As many of you are aware my passion is to empower women to feel good about their bodies and their sex and to lift the taboos and remedy the lack of information on feminine sexuality. yOni.com is one example of this passion in action.

I have also been putting my writing, singing and performing skills to the task and the result is Vaudeville of the Vulva, a one-woman comic cabaret that follows the journey of an English lady as she moves from a place of denial to delight in her relationship to her vulva. One reviewer called it ‘artful, aphrodisiac edutainment’. Check out the website www.vaudevillofthevulva.com and this showreel from the performance also on YouTube.

yOni goes to Sexpo

I approached attending the Sydney Sexpo with a bit of trepidation. I was not at all sure what to expect and I had heard some accounts which didn’t sound too promising. However the stall fee was paid for (and not by me) and the flights booked so, equipped with some yOni.com products, my researchers hat and a healthy curiosity about exactly what a sexuality lifestyle expo would consist off, I headed off to Sydney, open to being pleasantly surprised.

The expo was vast, filling both the Hordern Pavilion and the Royal Hall of Industries. There were three stages on which, the program told me, there would be shows by a range of gorgeous guys and gals designed to tease, titillate and tantalise. The brief glimpse that I managed to get of one of these confirmed my suspicion that I wasn’t missing a great deal. Both the act and the girls themselves were incredibly fake. In fact the enormous number of manufactured bodies was one of the most disturbing things for me about the whole event. Silicone boobs, botoxed lips and fake tans were the order of the day. I conducted a small survey of the guys in the stalls around to find out if they enjoyed these ‘perfect’ bodies. To a man, they replied to ‘No!’. Which makes me wonder exactly who does!

The Sexpo clientele was varied. There were lots of groups of young guys, many of them Asian, eager to check it all out. And there were almost as many groups of young women on a similar mission. They ranged in their openness. Some seemed to slink down the centre of the aisles hardly daring to look to the left or right. They made me wonder what had prompted them to come in the first place. Some were fascinated by every stall and more than ready to party. There was a lot of alcohol consumed which, combined with the mounting sexual tension, did create a slightly ugly atmosphere at times.

And then there were my favourite group - couples of all ages, mostly enjoying themselves and open to exploring and whatever tips or tools they might find. They struck me as having the most fun and mainly using the energy to enhance their sex lives and their relationship.

As you might expect there were sex toys at every corner, from the super crass to the very classy. On the classy end, the new We-Vibe was available and the phthalate free manufacturers, Lelo, Fun Factory and Vibratex all had a presence. At the other end of the scale there were show bags stuffed with dildos, condoms and porn for $20 a pop. There were lingerie and costumes in abundance and a number of stalls promoting, spa’s, saunas and massage tools. There was soap and lollies both genitally and conventionally shaped! Something for everyone!?

Two stalls caught my attention and approval! The Tantric Breather is a small device designed to give you an auditory and kinesthetic experience of the depth of your breath, and to allow you to deepen your breathing and synchronise more effectively with a partner. And at the Clitoraid stall you could adopt a clitoris and support the creation of a hospital in Africa were surgeons will reconstruct the pleasure centre for women who have been subjected to genital mutilation.

Other than these two, what seemed to be sadly missing was any actual information about sexuality and sexual health. As the mango juicer was one of our products I found myself giving hundreds of impromptu talks on locating the g-spot. Invariably a crowd would gather. Also noticeably lacking was anyone, other than myself and the Tanric Breather guy, representing or promoting conscious, spiritual sexuality. If I go again next year I’d like to fill that gap. If you have courses or products related to sacred sexuality that you’d like me to promote then please get in touch.